Aztan egy napon kinyitod a szemed. Tobbe mar nem akarod hallani a hangjat, viszolyogsz a lenyetol, es azt mondod magadnak: “Ha kepes volt igy banni velem, sosem szeretett.” Aztan jon az elvalas es a felejtes.

En nem tudtam teljesen kitorolni ezt a negy evet… Hianyzik az, hogy mindig tudta, mit kell tenni, hianyzik, ahogy nevet, ahogy cigire gyujt. Egyszeruen csak hianyzik latni ot. Neha azt gondolom, hogy az en hibam, hogy mar nincs itt, mert elmulasztottam elmondani neki, mennyire nagyra ertekelem ot.

Nem volt a pasim, de a lelkitarsam igen. Szerettem.

When you share every little movement of your life with somebody for more than four years, that somebody becomes a part of your life. He learnes to handle you and it’s positive for you, especially if you are beyond control. But as he knows you this well he learnes how to hurt yoh the way it causes the most pain. You take the abuses, the indignities so long and meanwhile you keep saying: “It doesn’t matter, I know he loves me.”

Then you open your eyes… You don’t wanna hear his voice anymore, you have an aversion to him an you say: “If he could treat me like this he neve loved me…” Then separating and forgetting come.

I couldn’t successfully erase this 4 years… He always knew what to do, I miss his laugh, I miss seeing him smoking a cigarette or sleeping or just seeing him… Sometimes I wonder, maybe it’s my fault that he is no longer here becaused I missed to tell him how much I appreciate the man he is.

He wasn’t my boy but my soulmate. I loved him.

in medias res: theres a guest in the hotel with a wifey and two beautiful blond kids. he bought a nice bracelet for his wife… we started to talk… he came back four times… just to chat… then he told me his smaller boy likes me. he took my hand and stroked it. what a weirdooo! what a fuckin handsome weirdo in rayban and burberry. haha.
anyway, i met HIM (exsexmate) yesterday. he met me, actually cause i pretended to be blind. haha. and i had a date with a cute guy who got my phone number from me when i was wasted. he called me and we met. no boom. we will see.

Ui.: Sajnallak.

I’ve never loved coward people. I could have thought that my dear ex-lover aborted every connection with me because while he was struggling with the remorse he decided to tell everything to his girlfriend. Ridiculous, disappointing and pathetic. Getting a ‘we wont have any contact in the future, UNFORTUNATELY’ after a deleteandblock is just simply good enough to be in a comedy.

P.S.: I feel sorry for you.

the best experience of my life (besides interviewing famous bands) was taking part in a conversation on the BBC radio in a live program which was probably heard by hundred thousands of people. #lovemylife #myfavdayis20120103

The thing is, I’ve never thought I’ll ever can get a KISS ON MY CHEEK what makes me unable to think of anything else. I was standing in front of him with shaky limbs and I didn’t care he’s more than twice as old as I am. This thought is the only thing that causes only positive emotions in me right now. I think I want more…